Rupaul's drag race grand finale blog along

If you do not watch Rupaul's drag race - don't continue. Or do . Just chill with it bro.
The following is my rushed ramblings from the so called 'grande finale,' as it happened.



Rip Latrice.

The awkward moment when chad and Sharon try to build some kind of bridge with phi phi.


Ooh girl , you got she mail.

All of my rupaul insane laughter fantasies just came true. My life is complete. If I ever have children That will be their lullaby.

Shoot.
Sharon doesn't need to dance for money. She is the greatest anyway. I felt so bad for her .

work room
Writing on the mirror? Do we get some celebritayyys ?
Yay raja! Boo Tyra! Where is bebe?
I would like to hear Ru say 'CAMEROOOOONNNNNN'
Raja and chad are friends - that's cool.


Oh my . It's the 'annual Rupaul tries to make drag queens cry and talk about their past luncheon.'

Rupaul just told chad that she has come up with the solution to all of chad's problems.
Amazing. Thats nerve. One of the key ingredients as we all know by now,
The back room with tyra and raja is good.
Sharon for the win.
I never liked Tyra but she is working that red wig.
Phi phi kissing ass at lunch.
Rupaul brings up abusive father.
Again- loves the therapy.
Rupaul is so lovely -like a magic statue.
Chad owning phi phi In the back room .
Snap.
Hilarious Sharon at luncheon .
Rupaul brings up Alaska troubles.
Rupaul is pretty regal hey.
Sharon cries - oh no. Cheer up.

Phi phi and tyra identify with each other .Obviously because they both suck.
I love how raja hasn't stood up yet. Swag.

Aw chad . Chad should be miss congeniality.
'I'm not sorry but I like you'. Best.
Yet again Sharon for the win.

Shoot.

That dog? Yay bearded Australian director.
Try not to hit Rupaul phi phi.
'Slap her ' - says my countrymen.
Why does phi phi wear those bagger Vance golf hats?
Phi phi can't act.

Work room
This is really exciting.


Final runway.
Rupaul amaze. I am copying that hair.

Santino's strange sexual energy on panel once again - but I guess 'sall good.

Chad.
Gold and black. Crotchal insanity. I love it when chad is blonde and golden. I feel like it is something I've seen before, but it is something I really like so I don't mind.

Sharon.
Tenticle realllnessss

I am copying that hair too.
What can I say?
For the win.
Phi Phi
Would be fashion forward in 2006. Come on bitch. Do better.

Scene
More rupaul laugh.
Chad took a hit well
Sharon wins in this scene.
Is phi phi on aderol?
Ooh my ... More laughing!!!!!!!!

Video
I'm so biased but clearly Sharon is more suited to this video and does better.
Phi phi is so jank.
Chad is refined.
Back to the runway.
Succubus ready to wear - fall/winter 2013 .
I hope the dancing doesnt keep her down.
Panel talk.
Did Michelle visage shave Santino's hair off...then glue it to her giant wig?

Are all three going to lip synch?
What's happening?

Lip sync fo' yo' lyffff
Yep all three.
Come on sharon -DON'T FUCK IT UP
Aw yeah Sharon took the whole runway .
Phi phi - turn it down.
Chad is so classy.

Suspense
Go Sharon.

What? Sorry what ?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
For once I agree with phi phi - this is a joke.
Why did I even do a live blog?
Well I better post this because otherwise I will feel like a class A Wang.
see y'all at the reunion.
- raz
Xoxo

Fridge Haiku.

Yes. I actually do these.

FH-1

As death is yonder
my winter villain goblet
see drunkard always.

It is a worry when you can only make a depressing haiku in order for the magnets to make sense.

Cornucopia part 1.

 Part 1: The Undesirables. 


Pear
Every pear is a coward. A pear is an insipid deserter.
When a woman is called 'pear shaped' she is assuming the form of a blotchy green nothing. I  would much prefer we call her  'tear or rain drop shaped' as at least these waters have emotional fortitude.

The pear shines when having been baked in booze or sauteed in the company of braver fruits.  In this way the pear -who has little to no flavor - hides it's cowardice in plain view.  The Pear relishes in taking credit for the success of others.

 Paw Paw/Papaya
 In stark contrast the paw paw or the papaya is abusive and arrogant.  The fruit in question  looks and tastes like solidified vomit.
This is due to poor lifestyle choices.
I imagine the Papaya would saunter through the streets drunk on whisky of an evening. Papaya pisses, shouts and drinks all night... only to throw up a mix of kebab and  slippery  black seeds at
4 am.
Papaya has no regard for hygiene or polite society. 

Honeydew Melon

Honeydew is that girl who is intelligent but pretends not to be so that she is more approachable. Honeydew is the person that changes their opinion on politics to suit the leanings of the current company.
Honeydew is not a hero or a heroine.
Honeydew is not even a Villain.
Honeydew likes wearing crocs and loves John Mayer.
Honeydew is a swinging voter.
Honeydew is a 'nice' guy.
Honeydew likes going shopping for slacks.
Honeydew thinks 'Two and a half men' is funny.
Honeydew is just ----blergh.

to be continued...

Tavi Is all grown up - and she is the best as usual.

A room of one's own - Fresh addition

Virginia Woolf once wrote an essay on the positive effects of having a room of one's own.
It is important.
 She famously wrote
'A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction'

I agree with half of this. I am hardly a Big money cash pimp.  I guess I am very middle class , but I am a bit of a struggling student. If I were to re-write her statement I would say:

 'A woman must have fresh possessions and a space of her own if she is to write fiction.'

Not just for writing, a room of one's own lets you house your ridiculousness.
Here are some of the things that make my room 'my own.'

Roller skates and Ukulele, Guitar in the background. My ukulele is called Lola.

Bookshelf (2 out of the five shelves)- with panda fan, Hello Kitty pez, Skull candle, Many books.

THE PONCHO and the blow up cactus.
I wear that poncho like all the time. I sleep in la poncho and when winter comes I will seriously never take it off. I like the cactus because the theme of my room is 'Nevada /wasteland/ Space' .

Signed photo, Painting, the Indian illusion.

The moon, Prince and lyrics from the Prince song. I love space , I love glow in the dark - everything in my room glows .

 Las Vegas clock, Cat purse .

Of course - Swag owl Jeff Goldblum. + petticoat.

 I did not include:
sick cat sticker, little mermaid and Hello kitty stickers
the planets,
two headed dinosaur,
Space Jam VHS,
All my wales Swag.
These are just some of my things  but chyeaaa.
If VW was around today I hope she would approve.
Das Fin.

I like to write on images and make people think I am witty.

Scribbles on books

As a child I read  a lot.

I was that really cool kid who read chapter books before everyone else. 

As a pseudo adult I read more than most people my age - it will never be enough though.
The novel is (I must admit) becoming an obsolete form in popular culture. Regardless, I will always read.

here are some scribbles about my favorite books.

Why?- because I believe that taste defines a person.
I have missed a great many books but here is a portion.
I  listed these in a sort of chronological order. They are grouped semi thematically.

Wind in the willows

I remember having this read to me when I had the chickenpox.

Harry potter
I do not care for anyone's opinion on these books. For me these books have been with me for many years. The novels grew with the reader, they were timely and were a positive  exercise in escapism.

The Bell Jar-Sylvia Plath
A cliche book for female university students to like but I don't care , I love it. I read it years ago-still interesting.

Galax Arena-Gillian Rubenstein
This is so underrated as a youth novel. I read this book for the first time when I was about 11 and I still enjoy it.


Frankenstein -Mary Shelley
I had to include this as apparently my family are descendants of the author. The novel (not the film) is great.

 Do we look alike?

Dracula-Bram stoker
-I include this as I not only love horror, but I also am really fascinated by 'Vlad the Impaler' who Stoker based the title character on.

Interview with the vampire - Anne Rice
I love it when vampires are done well. Without any extra additions to the myth - It is just a straight vampire story that doesn't rely on gimmicks( Diamond skin, teen drama) to convey meaning.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde- R. L Stevenson
Obviously.

The Walking dead-Robert Kirkman,Tony Moore,Charlie Adlard
Obviously.

Watchmen-Alan Moore, Dave Gibbons
 I really hated the film adaptation of this Graphic Novel, What the very fuck Zack Snyder?


Fun fact: I genuinely love Legend of the Guardians : The Owls of Ga'hoole .   It is one of the best Australian films . Happy Feet can suck it.


The collected works of Edgar Allen Poe
Because I am wicked angsty.


Macbeth- The big Cheese
Lady macbeth is the greatest character in literature.

She is like the swag king.
I went there.

American Psycho-Bret Easton Ellis

Obviously.



Fight club/Choke-Chuck Palahniuk
 Obviously.


And the Ass saw the Angel- Nick Cave
Is really gritty like everything he does. 

Middlesex
The Virgin Suicides
-Jeffrey Eugenides
Eugenides is one of my favorite novelists. Crazy good.
 
Hells Angels-Hunter S Thompson

I could include every HST piece in this list - I have literally read them all. Hells Angels is his first 'novel' and it was the one that made me love his work.


On the road- Jack Kerouac. 
obviously.


The Road- Cormac McCarthy 
So bleak - so fresh. Also Nick Cave did the score for the film-
Which was probably one of the best adaptation decisions ever.


Candy / God Of Speed-Luke Davies 
Luke Davies is an amazing Australian writer.  Both novels are worth reading.


1984-George Orwell
I have read this many , many , many , many times.
 I like to read it while listening to the Bowie Album . It goes off.

The Death of Bunny Munroe- Nick Cave
 -DO NOT READ THIS BOOK IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH-
shit gets real.

that is it for now.
I know I've missed many things.
I like making lists though

-Caribou out.