Riding in trains with strangers.

I am a commuter . I commute therefore I am . Six hours a week is spent trying to avoid catching anyone's eye or attention.   I sit on the tacky purple and green seats and make myself small.



If, like me your phone rings loudly and you swear under your breath - expect to be made to feel like you have just punched the conductor in the teeth.

If you are lucky enough to have a station near a stadium at some point you will get the pleasure of sharing the carriage with football fans. The station is electrified with pre-game excitement and more often than not fans smuggle alcohol into the train. This group is not comfortable on public transport. It isn't that they are rude or wholly disruptive.  They just don't understand the rules of antisocial travel.

If you find yourself in an unfamiliar public vehicle here are my top three rules to follow:

1. If you are on a bus say thank you to the driver when you exit the vehicle. Even though you are being charged exorbitant  prices for a sub standard service ( QLD) it is not the fault of the driver and thus you should be polite.

2. If you are on a busy train with large bags you can only take up one seat without being marginalized by the other passengers. As a frequent bag lady I find that if you put the bags on your lap and look flustered no one will sit next to you ,freeing the seat for your bag.

Q: But Rhiannon, why not just put your bag on the seat to begin with ?
A: Trains are not the real world. People will be forgiving if you make an effort- 99% of the time when you do this people are happy to give you the seat. If you don't offer the seat  they will call you a bitch as you exit the train . If you are like me, being called a bitch makes you react which is never a good idea with strangers as they are unpredictable.
eg.
Stranger: bittttchhh.

Rhiannon: (flips off stranger)

stranger: (stalks then murders Rhiannon as she eats bagel.)

3.

You have no right to shoosh people if you are not on the quiet carriage. However if you are on the quiet carriage it is your sworn duty to silence noisy tweens with loud sighs and scoffing.


The train is taking me to university where I will pretend to an intellectual. Where I will  laugh through my fingers at my peers name-dropping Dickens  in every conversation. If it wasn't for this journey forcing my commute , I probably wouldn't feel so strongly when other commuters broke my rules. When you are stuck in a place for long enough you begin to feel like it's your own. The matchbox warehouses line the tracks  on the Gold Coast route, reminding me there is a whole other Queensland I have chosen to ignore. With the walls I put up on the train I rarely look out the window . So just this once I shrugged off the eyes that stuck to my back as if attached with wire and looked up at the sky.